How had I arrived here, aged 50, divorced, mother of three, now ever so slightly overweight, still dying my hair blond thinking I am 21 still, the mirror lies, I am leaving the UK, my friends, my wonderful family for a destination and life as yet unknown... here i am at 5am Brockenhurst train Station, freezing cold dressed in summer clothing my mistake, the fog is swirling around me, its eerie, no one in sight, just me my suitcase and my tears am i mad, I am frightened what am i doing setting out on an adventure that I never imagined in my wildest dreams I would ever be taking. I am Debbie, 50 well 45 ish to strangers, a stay at home Mum of three who's biggest adventure to date was a skiing holiday with the family and many trips to the local antique flea markets my love, my hobby and part time job prior to today i was always out buying old pine furniture, having it stripped and then leaving it scattered all over the house, in various states of repair awaiting for me to transform them in to something wonderful again . I digress... here I am waiting for the train to arrive, standing alone, thank goodness so no one could see my tears... My daughter has just dropped me off half asleep and complaing about the cold and fog etc she did manage a hug goodbye wished me safe travels, and then she was gone, suddenly in a whoosh her red sports cars tail lights disappeared into the fog.. goodbye my lovely number one xx
Waiting now, I was a little early having been awake most of the night as you do when you have an alarm set. Out of the mist appeared a rather shady looking character dressed in a hoodie and tatty jeans, great i was not alone in this shabby paint pealing waiting room, the dirty radiator creaking in the corner was the only other sound a very ineffectual heater, there was now a man in the waiting room, I said a nervous good morning, hoping he was not some mad rapist, his reply was is it! We stood in silence for a few minutes, I eventually said where are you going? he said I have to do to get Romsey such an early start and two changes to open up burger king..at 6.30 such a drag he said, he then muttered you.. I replied, Vietnam, too which he hesitated and finally uttered the words long way!! . At which point the train trundled into the station and we parted company. Destination ...Southampton.
The Airport is extremely busy at 6am commuter rush hour in progress I was fortunately distracted for the moment from my utter and total fear of FLYING, with the chaos at check in it took all my effort to drag my very heavyand enormous suitcase towards the check in desk took all my concentration, and yes as usual I am asked to open my case, why is it always me, they found ted, my hot water bottle, my knickers, bras, tampons everything was flying out my case, I tried to look cool and hide my embarrassment, luckily there were no Bridget Jones Knickers, They zoned in on my hot water bottle it seemed to hold them in some sort of fascination two of them examined it for a few minutes well probably seconds but felt like half an hour, why was a small pink fluffy hot water bottle causing such a fuss, they then started shaking it saying whats in it? I said to my knowledge there was nothing in it, turns out to be some left over water!!! they had to go and drain it before I could take it any further. Really what a lot of fuss it was obviously not explosives and I really am not an undercover middle aged undercover terrorist I promise, my once neatly rolled up clothes painstakingly done(saves ironing apparently so Kelly said when she helped me pack)was now in tatters it was all rammed back in and then i was on my way again...
The waiting room was next...The tannoy suddenly squeaked and crackled into action please note all passengers travelling on Flight BE318 to Charles de Gaule that the Flight is Delayed due to technical difficulties... my knees were starting to knock just a little now not with the cold but with fear and trepidation, you see I am totally terrified of flying, it is extreme for me, total paranoia, funny thing is my new boyfriend (what a funny word sounds like i am 18 not 50, is a captain in the airlines and earns a living from flying he is insane who would want to risk their lives every day flying in a plane), maybe the Valium would have been a good idea!! too late now...the plane was delayed! why technical problems, that always puts the fear of god in me, wing falling off, engine dropped off, being attached again now, do you know there are only two bolts holding each engine on, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing don't go out with a pilot if you have even the faintest fear of flying!!) you name it my imagination has seen it all the crash whoever said i should watch final destination needs shooting, I have always had a vivid imagination, the doctors told my mum when I was little and refused to sleep that my brain was overactive, sleeping drafts, even brandy refused to work.( i have visions of my mum with a bottle of brandy pouring it down my throat to get some peace, no wonder i am a drinker i was addicted from an early age. The call came, the dreaded voice over the tannoy, will all passengers travelling to Paris please now come to the boarding gate, this is it there was no way out, my suitcase had passed this way earlier and founds its way and now I was to follow it .We had to walk to the plane no courtesy buses here, the fog was still swirling and it was freezing cold, I hoped the de-icing machine is working and they have remembered how important it is to remove all ice formations from the wings... there had been a crash a few years ago....never mind...not now.. don't think about it...go....go girl
The plane loomed out of the mist and it was so tiny, it looked like a thin rocket with minute engines at the rear I thought that can't be it, it will never fit us all in and it will be so claustrophobic.. I was so right it was like a very small cigar tube and you had to duck down to walk, the ceiling was so low and it was packed!! not a single spare seat, I was placed near the back and felt sick as I sat down and tugged at my safety belt, what was the point of them, really was it giong to save my life as we hurtle towards earth at 200 mph with double engine failure.. I don't think so, maybe they are there to prevent us escaping in the case of sudden nose dive, or fire or explosion, endless ways it was going to take my life... god, valium next time if there is a next time ever..
PARIS AIRPORT
It was now 7 am and after emerging from the Rocket, I felt in dire need of a coffee and a cigarette yes I smoked then, only a few in the evenings but today I felt like one in the morning.. i found the typical french coffee shop, and smoking zone, well one puff and I felt quite nauseous so that was stubbed out and I found a seat, shortly I was joined by a very friendly french man, who spoke a little english we passed the usual niceties, and he then asked me where I was going, I said Vietnam, he looked down and said you are travelling light, puzzled I followed his eyes to see my hand luggage and suddenly realised that my suitcase was missing, something was wrong. I had totally forgotten to collect my case from the arrival carousel, I looked at my watch an hour had passed where the hell was I supposed to find my case...I made my excuses and jumped up and headed back the way I had come... If you have ever been to Paris you will know it is like a wheel with spokes each spoke has several arrival sections and carousels well I finally found where I had arrived and by luck saw a porter in the far distance with my case he was dragging it down a corridor and was opening a door to disappear with it, it was a bright sickly pink colour easy to spot my daughter had told me in a crowd...they were right I called out and ran to the man and tried to explain I had forgotten to collect it, he looked blankly at me so I grabbed the handle saying mine mine he obviously understood shaking his head and tutting he finally let go and I towed it away slightly redder in the face but very relieved, what a complete plonker me that is not him...Time to find my way to departures and the Vietnam Rep i was supposed to be meeting, with my typed headed letter in hand fingers crossed that this would work to get me an upgrade to first class you see my boyfriend is the captain with their airline...and promised this would work....No wrong I was politely told in broken vietnamese english "you travelling lone no upgrade no man no upgrade you no pilot no you go in economy only" But i said thrusting the letter again at her..no no no you very rude you no upgrade not allowed.. bugger, steerage for 13 hours...bollocks....you wait till I see you, letter no worky!!!! choi oi!!
The flight was at 1.30 so another three hours to wait, decided to get pissed this always makes flying easier, hangover will distract from the fact i am flying through the air at flight level nose bleed in a metal cylinder at 300 miles an hour for the next 13 hours... I was feeling better now, 2 gin and tonics some french fries and a glass of red I was feeling very relaxed, sleepy and tidily...Boarding the plane was interesting, they bus you out in groups of about 50 this is a full flight hundreds of unusual looking people were with me, through my drunken eyes I felt enormous was this a figment of my imagination i was about six feet taller than most of my fellow bus passengers and all their eyes looked very strange...sought of slits, I must stop drinking..I am not Alice am I... We despatch front the bus and there is the most enormous of planes, dark blue with the lotus flower symbol we had to negotiate a sharp steep flight of steps with our overnight bags not elegant clattering up these metal steps we go right past an engine that i am sure you could fit two elephants inside the cowling, they are f...g huge... jesus if we hit a swan or two in fact a whole squadron of swans would fit in the engine..
AT the entrance i am shown to my seat, it looks very old and collapsed with frayed edges, how long has this plane been flying, how old is it...i am in a row of four and no one else is in it yet, fingers crossed no one will be next to me...My hangover is coming on already I am feeling really quite ill, it does honestly distract from the next nightmare and that is when the plane does that turn at the end of the runway you know the one i mean, and we all sit their quietly waiting just waiting for that noise to start, my stomach is doing somersaults I am strapped in tight and my nervous sweating is beginning, holding on to the seat arms like they are going to hold me safe, as the engine starts to wind up to screeching point when we suddenly lurch forward hurtling down the no return runway to infinity and beyond...toy story !!!
